UPDATE

Well it just took me a good 10 minutes to work out how to find my blog to update,has it been that long since I used it lol
Ok so where are we up too. Yes the seatbelt on the plane fit with room to spare. Sunbaked and swam on my holiday without a care. Still chubby but no longer a blob. Even went snorkelling and fit into a stinger suit. Not even there biggest size.
I now wear a size 16. Considering size 26 where getting too tight I am slightly proud of myself. Some of my clothes are still size 18 but that's just different makes and styles. Some times I go into a department store and find myself heading for the plus size and then realise they are all way to big. Even my shoe size has shrunk.
I go through hate myself moments when I look at myself naked and see the loose skin. But considering how much I have lost the skin isn't too bad.
Finally hit my goal of double digits, then hovered around it for way too long. Scales are finally moving downward again but really really slowly (throw in a few more really's there lol) But I haven't been the healthiest eater of late and been doing no exercise at all. So need to get off my arse and make this happen. My next goal is to no longer be obese, but 'just overweight'  so 92kg is my next goal. Sitting on 98.5 at the moment. So 6.5kg

Here is a photo me in a size 16 on my holiday.

The scales vs. Jo

This stall is so frustrating. Like the scales are sticking it's tongue out at me every time singing 'neh neh' I go from 100.4 to 102 back and forward. Never reaching those double digits. Been sick all week, not eating much at all but nope, still not giving me that magical number. This stall is roughly on a month now. I know some people have longer stalls, but the frustration that the weight loss slowed down over the last few months and now just stopped.  Plus I want too see those double digits soooooo baddddd.
Maybe I'm more sooky about it as I'm sick this week, considering how much mucus is being expelled from my body you would think....grrrr
I go on my cruise on my birthday. Fly up to Brisbane. One night in Brisbane then 7 nights on the Pacific Dawn P & O cruise. Up the coast of Queensland and back. Going with 5 friends. Was hoping to be lighter for it but since this stall has reared its ugliness not holding my breath. I'm curious to know if the air plane seatbelt will fit without an extension strap. It was one of my goals. We are flying with Tiger Airways and I have heard they have smaller seats. My dream was to get to 92kg by the cruise. But I cannot see 9 kg melting away in 21 days...sigh
Brought some material to make some sarongs. My body may have shrunk in size but when I strip off its all just hanging there. The worst will be to show of my thighs. All this loose skin. Makes me sick let alone anyone else that happens to glance at it. I hate it more than my stomach. People have stomachs, beer pots and loose skin from kids. But my thighs are hideous.
Been putting off buying bathers to see if I can get any more weight off. My old ones fit but a bit baggy. Might try to buy a new pair before I go but not much in the shops at the moment.
Well have my boys back this weekend and god forbid one of them knows where the kitchen sink is or the washing machine. So better get some mum duties done. Now selling Avon too, I let myself get roped into it. But been to crook to get around and give out books. Plan to drop some off this weekend.

BAD HABITS

Well hello long lost blog. Long time no journal. I hit my one year mark since my sleeve just under 2 weeks ago. Total weight loss now stands at 76kg. I have lost my 'ultimate' goal weight. I say ultimate as I could never see myself ever being that weight. But as I get closer my dream is slowly turning into a reality.
I am only 3 kg off my original goal. To be the weight I got down too just before my wedding back in 1990. But I keep sabotaging myself with old bad habits and have currently been stuck at the weight I am for weeks now. In over a month I have only lost just under 2 kg. Bit of a change from the 1 to 1.5 kg falling off each week. Where am I going wrong! let me tell you.
Ok just today I had 10 squares of Chocolate, a chocolate milk, some dip, cheese, kabana and crackers, 2 small packs of twisties and a bowl of icecream with chocolate ice magic......  The only thing healthy I ate was a banana for breakfast. I have been trying to psychoanalysis my behaviour. Other than I have a really bad head cold and my kids are making me upset and sad I have no excuses.
The surgeon always said I would never be skinny though I have surpassed his original goal for me by 10kg. I forget this surgery is a tool and not the full answer. Ok fair enough I can't pig out like I used too. I mean before surgery the scoop of icecream would have been about 3 or 4 and half a bottle of the chocolate topping. The 10 squares of chocolate would have been the whole block and the 2 x 27 gram packets of twisties would have been a 150 gram bag. But all that sugar and useless calories :(  Decided to just add up the calories for the day. 1,427. That's nearly 500 more than I should be consuming.
Haven't been doing any exercise either. Also been back to smoking nearly a packet a day. Ok I need a good reality check slap.

I lost my mum a couple of months back and my bad eating habits reared their ugly head then. I know that should not be an excuse. I need to be accountable myself for my lack of commitment and discipline.
I am hoping that renewing this journal helps me become accountable. Even though I don't think anyone actually reads it that putting my thoughts and feelings, plus addressing my bad habits that I will wake up and renew where I am on this journey. I want to loose a minimum of 10 more kg by summer.
Anyway I am now looking into plastic surgery being so big for so long has taken a massive toll on my body to areas that should have never been allowed to stretch. I am now in a size 16 to 18. But have loose skin on my arms, thighs, neck, bum and overhang on my tummy. I am once again on the public waiting list for a tummy tuck. My appointment is in November. But that will only be my tummy. Been considering going over to Thailand to one of these plastic surgery holidays. Getting the works done.
Think I'm just a bit down as I'm sick at the moment and had a very roller coaster last few months.
Would you belief after loosing all this weight I actually sometimes feel fatter and hate my body more than I did than I was at my biggest. I have to look at my before and after photos I have created to put some prospective to it all.


I no longer have to shop in larger woman's
 clothing sections or stores. My feet have shrunk to fit back into normal shoes. I can now buy nicer bra's and undies not granny stuff. I can walk around without huffing and puffing. Get up and dance with my friends. Wear heels again.
I really must keep reminding myself of where I have come from to I can refocus on where I am going.
Here are some progress photos. Just put them up for myself for that extra slap in the face.
Bottom photo was At my biggest in July 2012 and my 12 month sleeve anniversary photo shoot taken about 12th August 2013.



Oh found this draft for May, thought I'd just tag it on as not surehow to put in place with dates etc.
MAY 2013
Now for my weight lose, it's now starting to slow down quite a bit, I'm not sure if it's because of bad eating habits. Not over eating, but just the wrong things. Or if it's because I have started drinking a bit more. Or I did start exercising a fair bit so could have been building muscle. Or could just be a plateau that I have hit at 7 - 8 months.
Still 16kg off my original goal, but want to get lower than that now. want to try to get at least 10 more kilo's off when I hit my first goal

LONG OVERDUE UPDATE

Well hello lost and lonely page. It's been so long since I last seen you. It must because now I have dropped so much weight I actually have a life lol
Yes people I am much happier person. I'm now 49.5kg down. Now 30 kg from my personal goal. Still a way to go but to be more than half way is a brilliant achievement.
I'm fitter, healthier and definitely happier. I have a man in my life (only early days but it's looking good)
I "FEEL" fat every now and then (I still am by most peoples standards) But I am now down into a weight I haven't seen since my early 20's. Been buying new clothes, cleaning out my old 'fat' clothes. I had to go through my underwear draw the other week as I was on my treadmill and my knickers ended falling down to my knees lol. Plus none of old bra's fit. Only thing that I still wear from last year are my t-shirts/tops and dresses.
I am now in a size 20 down from a 28 (I say 28 as my 26 where too tight and I was having trouble buying things in larger size clothes shops, so realistically I was bigger than a 26). My weight is still falling off at a regular rate of about 1 to 1.5 kg a week. But I am having a lot of trouble with my diet, not it being bad, more the fact that I can't eat much still. A LOT of things make me sick.Can't remember the last time I actually sat down to a bowl of vegetables. I more concentrate on getting in protein wherever I can. So try to keep my cheese and milk consumption up as it's hard to eat meat still. I still occasionally have some 'bad' moments where I pig out on twisties or cheezels. But trying to keep these pig outs restricted to once a week only.
My poor treadmill gets neglected a bit. Only using it about 2 times a week for about half an hour. But it's summer and I have been getting out a bit  more, will take stairs instead of lifts that type of exercise. I used to drive around a shopping centre car park till I got a spot right near the door, now I will park anywhere. I love shopping now.
Oh oh some more exciting news. I have been wearing high heels again. Ok I'm not at the stilleto stage, but can wear a good inch thick heel.
I love to go out dancing with my friends, some nights I spend most of the night on the dance floor. I have so much more confidence now. I am also enjoying the male attention. Which takes me to my new man....
He is actually a family friend of my ex's family. We actually hooked up (yes a one night stand) back in 2007. Renewed that 'hook up' just after Christmas and been seeing him still. We haven't had that "exclusive, boyfriend/girlfriend" talk yet but I really like him and hoping there is a future. Yearly days, the giddy, happy stuff lol. Even if it fizzled it has been a few years since I have let myself open up to someone so will keep you all informed.
Anyway promised myself I would finish cleaning my room today so better get cracking.

Photo from 9th January 2013, I'm in the middle from a fancy dress party (good v' evil) with 2 of my best friends. (was actually sick that week and look a bit pale)

Be beautiful people xxx

Addictions, pains and strains

ADDICTIONS
I need to make a confession. The doctor warned me to addictions of cheese and chocolates, things that slide down so you can consume more of. I wasn't worried about the chocolate as I have never been a massive chocolate fan and only really craving sweet food like that for a few days a month. cheese I was worried about. But I have kept it limited and in my calorie range. What I am addicted to is Cheezels. Every day I have one or two snack size packets, I am including the calories in my daily intake. But they are empty calories. But  50 grams of Cheezels a day is so bad. Only 3.6g of Protein and 28g of Carbs.  Thats also 266 Calories (thats just over a quarter of my allowance). But today I gobbled down a whole 110 Gram box. The guilt and shame. But tomorrow is a new day. Plus if its any consolation they did make me feel sick. Plus I still didn't go over my calories today as it was too hot to eat much.

STRAINS

Well so much for my promise to use the treadmill a minimum of 15 minutes a day at least 4 times a week. I did an hour on it last tuesday, also did about 50 steps that day. On the Wednesday I woke and realised I'd pulled a muscle in my calf. So have used that as an excuse all week not to exercise as it's painful. It would probably be good for me to exercise the strained muscle but old habits die hard. Still have my big charity walk for Prem Baby research coming up in November and that is about 5km, at the moment I am no where near that fitness level so need to get back on the horse (or treadmill lol) and work on that fitness level.



PAINS
Well the pain in my calf I just mentioned, I'm also been having some tummy troubles. I get constipated for about 3 to 5 days. Then finally do a very hard painful motion (I refer to this as the plug). Then I will have loose or watery motions for a day or two. Then the cycle will repeat itself. I suppose it makes a difference to the good old IBS I used to have constantly (now its IBS or 2 days of a week) Have a doctors appointment coming up so will discuss what I can do to level myself out. It might be just a simple solution of having psyllium husks. Though they jellify and would fill me up very quickly.


Well it's 32 Kilograms down now. Roughly now working out to be about a kilo a week, with small stalls. (But I know think my bowel movements have a lot to do with my stalls). Still addicted to weighing myself 100 times a week, but now only recording it about once a week. Haven't done my photo's or measurements for a bit. Should try to get them done this week.
Just heard on the news nasty storms in the US, be safe my internet friends xx

RSL and Treadmill

Thursday 11th October 2012

Ok, my body is really starting to scream at me it's not getting enough nutrition. My Restless Leg syndrome (RLS) keeps me up most nights, add that to being so tired already and i am officially a walking zombie. This time last week I was only just telling someone how much more energy I had and today, well you would need a cattle prod to move me.
I don't know if I'm coming down with something, I'm having trouble eating anything. I ache and energy level is an all time low since the surgery. Finally have a doctors appointment tomorrow, hoping after the last blood test that it will show maybe I just need a Vitamin B12 injection again. Or that the RSL is just caused from lack of Magnesium that can be fixed with a supplement.
My weight is hovering around 149 - 150 kg. Hardly moving again, considering my calorie intake is under 1000. The lack of weight loss is annoying. But I can't whinge since it is still on the downward slope.
Everyone seems so highly strung this week. I have managed to offend 2 people on Facebook this week to actually have them delete me. Silly me put my opinion on their statuses, must remember not all people like comments. If I don't like someones comment I just shrug it off. I suppose that's the difference between me and other people. Been a victim of cruelty with my weight so long I grew a thick skin.
Speaking of annoying things and most people struggling with their weight will agree with this one. People's opinions regarding your weight loss. It's amazing when I tell people that I am now (27 kg) down, how they then offer advise on what to eat and do. It's like 'HELLO' I just told you that I have lost all this weight and now you want to tell me what to eat and do!!!! Even today was making general conversation that I had to up my protein, so next thing I'm being told a list of high protein foods. I just hate unsolicited advise. Oh I just read back what I wrote and I think I'm a bit snappy too, must be the weather, or even the start of daylight savings making everyone narky.
Went out both Friday and Saturday nights. Stayed out past 3am too. Funny not drinking or smoking anymore. Watching people get intoxicated as the night goes by can be an amusing past time. People are surprised when I tell them I'm not drinking as i can still act silly when I want too. They had a really good band on Saturday too, and as much as it is annoying to dance in the middle of really drunk people. I still danced for about an hour. Something I hadn't done in years. Doubled the amount of dancing time from last fortnight so hopefully when I go out next go even longer. (mind you my ankle killed the next day, no idea what I did)

15th October 2012

Well fell asleep on that last entry never got it finished. Ok Doctors, no deficiencies. We did talk about how when I go out dancing my legs don't hurt that night so she wanted me to do 10,000 steps a day (I googled it and its about walking for hour and half). There is no way I could leave my kids unsupervised for that long even if they are teens. So broke into my savings and bought a treadmill. So yesterday I did 15 minutes, so far today I have done 10 minutes (but plan to jump back on and do another 10). Kids are all fighting about their turns, novelty will eventually wear off, with them, not me I hope! Specially since it cost me $2000. Has a life time warranty on the motor so thats a good thing. Paid my ex $30 (and 2 vodka cruisers) to pick it up and put it together for me  Was watching him thinking I wouldn't have had a clue so glad he said yes. Plus it took him and my 4 boys to get it in the house, its massive.
Doctor wants to see me again in 3 weeks to check on the meds she gave me for the restless legs and do a full checkup on me.
Have started to vomit a bit more than usual so must get her opinion on that, I might be trying solid food to quick, no matter how much I mush it up. Had some roast chicken that I had shredded tonight and it came back up. Ooh speaking of food, had a breakfast bar for dinner, it was so sweet. My body is definitely not used to sweet foods anymore. I used to love these bars now they are sickly sweet.
also wanted to comment on how people are starting to notice the weight loss. Dentist I only met 4 weeks ago, went back today and she commented on my shrinking frame. Everyone is commenting on how much happier I seem.
Well better get my kids to bed, it's a school night and they are all still on their computers. I have had heaps on my mind to write about lately so will start jotting notes and hopefully next blog will be a whopper.
One of my best friends is due back from America soon, she hasn't seen me since my pre op diet days, can't wait to see the expression on her face :)

26kg DOWN

My daughter took some photo's of me with my boys tonight, I keep looking at them saying WOW. I still have a double chin in the pictures (not a triple). But other than my clothes starting to fall off me, I hadn't really any idea. I still have a long way to go. Well you can say I'm a third of the way with my goal weight. But actually 1/4 from what I have the potential to get too if I put my mind to it. But at the moment my next Goal is to see those scales read under 150kg. It's getting close, jumped on last night and they said 150.7kg, but I didn't record it as decided as I can fluctuate up to 2 kilograms that I will only record once a week. So my last official weigh in was 151.4kg.
It's coming off much slower now, I suppose a lot of that initial weight loss would have been a lot of fluid. Had my stall, so now even the slightest movement is better than none. I really have to get my arse into gear and start exercising more. why I'm getting excited about the 150 mark is it is the maximum weight for the Wii fit and I want to start using that as part of my exercise routine.

 This is what 26kg (57 lb) down looks like.  I look so much more happier too :)