Friday, 28 September 2012


Well I finally am no longer classified “Super Obese” and have joined the ranks of ‘Morbidly Obese’.
I actually didn't realise the title of Super Obese existed until told so by a bariatric surgeon earlier in the year. (It is someone who has a BMI of over 50)
So my BMI is now 49, and decreasing J
Went out for the first time in Months last night, had birthday drinks at a friend’s first (well I had Cola Cordial and made it a tiny bit stronger than usual lol) Then we went to our local in town. They have a dance floor and bands playing on Friday and Saturday night. I surprised myself and actually got up and danced for about half an hour. Also stood around, previous visits over the last couple of years were me honing in on the nearest seats and plopping my backside down for the night. I found I was ok standing around, my feet and knees didn't ache.
Now the only problem’s where 1. Now I don’t smoke anymore the beer garden has a roof over it and the cigarette smoke was ‘trapped’. Considering only 2 of us don’t smoke in a group of about 15 friends this is where we hang out. So after an hour I felt an asthma attack looming and I didn't have my inhaler as I haven’t needed it since giving up smoking myself. This also brought on a wicked headache. 2. Drunk sleazy men when I’m sober is a real turn off. If I was tipsy or drunk, I probably would be loving the attention in my shrinking body. But this time of year the place was full of football players having their breakups all over the limit!!! 3. Due to my iron levels being low, I was exhausted by 1am (the place closed at 3am).  So about 1.45, I said my goodbyes. One advantage of not drinking is that I drove there and didn't have to wait around and pay for an expensive taxi ride home.
Considering I never touched a drop of alcohol last night, I had the weirdest dreams. Actually weird is an understatement. It ended very erotically, right at the good bit too lol Now to find the lead character from my dream in real life. Even though he was pure evil shape shifter (as I said really weird dream lol) Usually I like to psycho analyse my weird dreams, I think it’s a Virgo thing J But this dream last night I wouldn't know where to start. Petrol stations,  fields, schools, norty child throwing sandwiches on the floor, evil dogs, tar, court room, empty streets, soldiers behind a fence (in which I climbed over) Evil entity, space vortexes, bathrooms, trying to safe some aunt I’d never met,  class rooms, giant bird/dragon type creature,  Black rooms and sex.  It’s like my head hadn't been allowed to dream for months and decided to throw them all into a mixer together!!!!
Sometimes I think as soon as I wake I should write it all down, many a time I have had a dream that I think would make a great movie (last night’s dream was too jumbled for any script). By not writing my dreams down am I throwing away a great opportunity to become a famous writer!! J
Ok off topic of weird dreams, can you belief my kids and I have used up over 200GB of usage and the month isn't even over. My computer has been slowed down to dial up speed, (so takes 20 minutes for a page to load). So even though I am journaling on the 22nd September I won’t be able to blog till the 25th. It is so frustrating, considering I like my daily internet fix.
Well you can tell it’s spring here in Australia, I have a blow fly buzzing around me. Think it might be time to get the screens fixed again to keep out the blow flies.

Some time later.......(26 September)
I went out for my niece’s birthday last Saturday night, first meal out. Ordered the pumpkin soup, managed about half of it. But that’s not why I mention the dinner.  My ex brother in law knows how to ruin my mood.  First he steals my drink, and then he insults me in front of everyone.  First  when I was ordering my meal, he says across the bar, “do you really need that” not even knowing what I ordered. Then again at the table he makes a comment about fat people should eat. Then to top it off he steals my $120 jacket and took off home with it. (I got my daughter to run in and grab it, but will now need dry cleaning). I had to put up with this alcoholic while I was married to his brother, I try not to have anything to do with him now. But it was my nieces birthday dinner so I held my tongue as I could clearly see how ashamed she was of him. Sad thing is his wife and one of his daughters are both very large woman too. I hate to think of the drunken abuse they deal with. He is just a dirty hobo.
Had another dinner on Tuesday, (no ex brother in law insight thank god). This is when I learnt it can be harder than I think to eat out. I go out thinking I will order the soup, I can manage that and be sociable and eat too. The soup was mushroom, I hate mushroom with a passion. The menu was not new tummy friendly at all. I settled for a serving of vegetables, minus any veggies that are hard. So it was mashed mustard potato and pureed cauliflower. My first mistake was it was warm in the restaurant so I ended up having a glass of water before the meal. Second problem not mine, was I was served last (they had forgotten my order) and as we all now know we need minimum half hour for a small meal if not longer. So I only got 3 forkfuls in before I was feeling so uncomfortable. So my plate was sent back barely untouched. Wish I had thought to bring a container from home as my kids would have scoffed it down in seconds as it did taste delicious (I actually added a bit of mustard be sauce to their mashed potato dinner tonight, they loved it.) Lucky for me everyone at the table knew I had had the surgery so no one asked any uncomfortable questions. 
Even later...... (28 September)
Well I’m living on concrete floors at the moment. Was meant to have lino put through the house, but after they ripped it up they informed me the ‘layer’ is off sick so won’t be done for a few days. Not happy considering all the lounge and kitchen furniture is shoved into the boys’ bedroom and hallway.  Lucky it’s school holidays, so I can let them camp out in the empty lounge room for the weekend. I’m getting the floorboard look lino. So until you actually touch it, it looks like floorboards.
Been debating if I should do a YouTube blog, I follow a few who have had the Gastric sleeve. It’s good to find one and watch their shrinking bodies as the months go past. But I have trouble trying to blog once or twice a week. Would I manage to keep up to date with a video blog??!!! Oh well, something for me to dwell on.  
Oh found a great link about the do's and don'ts of Gastric sleevers.  Hopefully the link works.

Well been playing on my computer long enough, better go kick the kids of their computers and make them have some family time :)

Thursday, 20 September 2012

NSV's (No Scale Victories)

Lately I have noticed a lot of people have been talking about their NSV's, so I thought since my weight lose over the last 2 weeks has been minimal I would cheer myself up by sharing mine.

Had a bath today, my thighs didn't get stuck on the sides and got out without to much difficulty
Started walking this week, it may only be a distance of 460 Metres (1/4 mile). I did the same walk 3 months ago and had to stop half a dozen times to catch my breath. I can now walk the same route without stopping in half the time.
Brought some Boots about 2 months before my sleeve. Put them on for the first time since my sleeve. they are very loose. Either i have to wear really thick socks or sell them!
All my "fat" clothes had been getting tight (some not fitting any more) over the last few months. Now most of my wardrobe from the last 2 years fits again.
Went to the dentist, looking around for a chair without arms, was none. then surprised myself that I could comfortably sit in a waiting room chair.
My heart rate is back at a safe level.
I started dreading shopping, today I walked all over Target getting a heap of bargains :)
Went to Autograph (16 to 26 shop) I had got to the stage only a selected few of the 26's where fitting. well got into a size 24 pair of jeans with room to spare (did try on 22 but tight over the bum) and brought 2 new tops to go out for my birthday drinks tomorrow night.
I had a birthday Goal to be 25 kg lighter and missed it by 2 kg. But I'm happy it's still coming off even though its now at a crawl. Only 1 kg in 8 days. Have started tracking on 'My Fitness Pal' to get an idea of how many calories I am actually having, it's good as it also measures iron, protein etc all those other things I should be monitoring. I have actually consumed 1400 calories today, that's higher than usual as I pigged into some cashew nuts earlier.
Well with all the birthday's I have had, this is only the 3rd time I haven't had a cake. (usually buy one for myself and the kids) No candle to blow out! But one of my son's taught himself today how to play 'happy birthday' on the Guitar and that recital was better than any fat laden cake :)

Sunday, 9 September 2012

Nightmares, Stalls, Heart Rates and Diets

Had the worst nightmare last night, was skinny but had the worst saggy skin ever. My tummy hung down to my thighs and even my knees had all this baggy loose skin hanging off them. I once saw a photo of someone that had extreme weight lose and looked like a melted candle (Picture to left). I know why I had this dream, it was a comment my doctor made over a week ago that is still playing on my mind. We where talking about my weight loss so far, and I made a comment about at this rate I'll be looking hot in a bikini at Christmas (it was a joke). She got all serious and said no I will have to undergo skin removal for that. I know I will most likely have to have my stretched tummy skin removed (knew that after giving birth to the twins that I would never have a flat tummy again). But I have never thought about other skin around the body that's been stretched. I must stay positive and think how healthy I will be after my weight drops off. Loose skin is just going to have to be a forever punishment for letting myself get so ginormous.

Ok now I have shared my nightmare, thought I'd let you all know the scales have slowly started to move again. The stall lasted over a week and was frustrating since I'm a daily weigher. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself jumping on the scales every morning and evening. I finally got my monthlies (late but guessing the surgery threw out my bodies rhythm) and surprise surprise the scales started to budge again. So I will not be so shocked in a months time if I get another weeks stall.

I really need to get my diet sorted out, need to make an appointment with the dietician. I know I'm not getting as much protein in as I should and probably over eating a few bad things. Cruskits and cream cheese (low fat but still!!!!) are my biggest weakness. I should start a calories journal. I'm also discovering I am having moments when I'm hungry all the time. I'm trying to work out is this feeling just a bit of reflux or thirst. Another thing I need to wean myself off the oxycontin I was put on them for pain when I left the hospital, now I'm depending on them as I am suffering Restless Leg Syndrome really bad and the oxycontin are the only things that allow me to get to sleep. One friend said since I have given up food, soft drink, alcohol and smoking, that maybe my body was trying to swap addictions. I really don't know. All I know is the pain and arghhh how do you explain restless legs, like someone running feathers tickling under your skin. When someone tickles you so much it hurts......  I'm trying to increase my iron intake hoping it is just that causing the RLS.

Have this app on my phone that measures your pulse rate with your finger over the light. I hadn't used it in ages, I used to have a resting heart rate of averaging around 97. Today I used it and my heart rate is 76, back in a safe zone. Good to see another benefit of the weight loss, less stress on my heart.
I was running late for an appointment 2 days ago,and I actually got into a half jog, walk fast mode. 3 months ago I would be puffing just from slow walking. Little things like these moments make me feel like I am achieving something as I can't really see my body decreasing in size.

I keep thinking I'm over eating as I get hungry every few hours and have something to snack on. But I actually looked at what I consumed in one day and it is a fraction of what my old intake was.
Total so far for today, example:
Breakfast: Porridge sachet and 1/2 cup low fat milk
Snack: 125 Gram of no fat yoghurt
Lunch: 4 low fat cruskits with around 100 grams low fat cream cheese (eaten over half hour period)
Snack: Small Banana
Snack: 125 gram sorbet no fat
Dinner: Tablespoon of savoury Mince and 1/2 slice of bread (no crust)

I will probably have one more thing before bed, probably a protein shake as looking at that list I need more in the day. My water intake has been 750 mls, I know I need to increase this. Funny, really thought I'd been pigging out till I actually wrote it all down. I need to sit down and work out the calories. Also need to get the tape measure out and do my body measurements again. But before I do that, I need to put the kids to bed and finish washing uniforms and make school lunches, dishes to do in there somewhere too. Had a really lazy day of watching tv shows on my laptop so my Sunday of rest and relaxation must come to an end.

Saturday, 1 September 2012

Epic Adventure Continues

Well where do i start.

Hopped on a train Thursday afternoon (9 Aug) with my daughter, bags packed and head buried in 2nd 'Shades of Grey' book too take my mind off everything. Arrived at my sisters after 2 trains and a taxi about 4.30pm. After a very annoying phone call from the builder who was demanding access to my house as the kitchen was ready to install (bad timing on his part and no warning for me or I would have made arrangements). So gave me something else to worry about other than the operation. Slept reasonably well that night, considering it was on a mattress on the floor and the smell of my sisters cigarettes has impregnated every inch of her house.
they dropped me off at 10.20am at the doors and i found my way up to pre admissions.
this is where you wait with dozen or so other people. They take you into a room and do your obs* (observations, blood pressure, temp, pulse, oxygen saturations, blood sugar). then given a gown, support stockings and dressing gown and told to go down to the disabled toilet to get changed. Then because someone else was in the toilets she told me if I was quick it would be ok to get changed in the small exam room. I asked for a bigger gown and dressing gown, she found a larger gown but no luck with the dressing gown. So with modesty shattered I go back to the cattle collection area and wait again. I had to throw my jacket over my knees as didn't want to scare any other patients to the view I might accidentally flash.
then I was called back up and had to have blood taken, dressing gown was so tight woman had to wrestle me out of it,  I did get her to help me tie my gown ties.  Then back to the cattle yard again.
Finally called a 3rd time, no idea what was going on. Nurse took my bags and put them in a storage room after we decorated them in labels with my details. Then we walked to the lifts and up to the surgical ward. Scottish nurse with a beautiful bed side manner asked me a heap of questions, went through a few details of what was to happen and got me to jump on a bed. Then had anesthetist team chat to me and put in a cannula. Explained due to the nature of the operation also required a cannula in my neck, they will do in theatre and not to be scared when I wake with one there. Also another in my wrist, so this can measure blood pressure.
Was wheeled into the small room before entering theatre where they started attaching more bits and pieces, Surgeon come and said a few words to me and then wheeled into the theatre. They used an hoover bed thingy to move you from the bed to the operating table. Remember looking at the 3 enormous lights that hadn't been turned on, the anesthetist saying something and lights out......


Woke up in recovery, my body was screaming in pain but all I could do was groan. Was thinking, OMG yes I'm alive but in the same thought, this pain is unbearable I wish I was dead. As i drifted in and out of consciousness I noticed the pain was getting more bearable and I was becoming more aware of my surroundings. Then I was wheeled to ICU, I vaguely remember an argument how ICU wasn't ready for me but I couldn't go back to recovery.
Was given a pain button, self administer my pain meds into my drip.Well I locked myself out of that system when I used it too much. I do belief that if I didn't have a woman going off her tree for 6 hours next to me I would have got some sleep and probably wouldn't have needed to push my button. But the crazy lady was crying 'helfen' in like 10 second intervals, changing to the word 'help me' occasionally. They had to restrain her as she tried ripping out her IV. She was screaming that the nurse was trying to poison her, and that her husband was going to shoot them all..... Poor nurse was in tears at one stage. My only demands of care was mainly to feed me ice every so often. Also in ICU I learnt how understaffed they where. It is meant to be one nurse/one patient ratio. But they had 2 patients, then covered other staff during breaks. I had to have 2 chest x-rays done, still had my canulla in my neck, was finally allowed a glass of water in the morning. By about lunchtime the next morning I was well enough to go to the ward.


Was wheeled down in my bed to the ward. 1 South, bed 29. Was a 4 bed ward, 3 beds on one side and 1 bed on the other, the other space taken up with the nurses station in the actual room. Also had a room at the end with toilet and shower. I was by the door across from the nurses station. They rolled my bed up next to the one in the room an to maintain some dignity I wiggled myself over to the other bed.
I was sharing a room with 3 men (so much for the policy to try to have same sex wards, its a lie). 2 elderly men who had obviously had bowel operations and another gastric sleeve patient. It's funny I was only here for 3 nights but it seemed like much longer. As I am writing this over a week after the event, things won't be in time order, (drugs have mangled the brain a bit on that one too) so no total recall lol.
So over the next few days, it was trying to tolerate fluids, the disgusting leak test (it was so hard not to spew up the horrid fluid they make you drink).  Convincing them I was having enough liquids and no longer needed to control my pain dosage, so I could get the horrible IV removed.
You know when you are getting better, it's when you become more aware of your surroundings, you can't sleep through the moans of others and you just want to go home.
I couldn't wait to escape, I found the public hospital to be dirty and chaotic. Told myself I have to get private health Insurance so I never have to experience the public system again.


Finally after 4 nights, I was told Early Tuesday morning I could go home. Since they needed the bed, everything happened quickly. I showered and dressed while they organised paperwork, I sat in a chair while they stripped the bed and packed me up, where I was sent down to the transit lounge to await for my cousin to pick me up. Gave me a bag of drugs and off I went home. The ride home even though it was over 2 hours was quick as my cousin had work issues so I heard all about them so I just sat back and half hearted listened to her droll on. The excitement of the day wore me out so as soon as I got home to the familiar comfort of my own bed I slept for ages.


Well it's now 22 days since my sleeve, 20 kg (44 lb) down from my heaviest ever. Since getting out of hospital I have had my kitchen renovated and house painted (still have to get floors done, but lino wasn't in stock so a few more weeks). My boys where at their fathers for 3 weeks and I just got them back yesterday. Oh ended up in casualty, not from my sleeve but I knocked myself out by hitting my head on corner of a bookcase. Had concussion, not fair to have a 2 day hangover when I don't drink lol.
Still trying to get my diet right, learning the hard way what some no no's are (had a bite of a pizza, even though I chewed 100 times, still didn't want to stay down then hours of discomfort.)
My diet is a bit shonky, still chewing on horrid chewable vitamins and also from today iron tablets. I am living of puree'd fruit tubs, yoghurt, sorbet, pumpkin soup and cream cheese on cruskits. Oh and a optifast with a scoop of protein day. Did discover chocolate mousse slides down easily, but felt sick after I ate it.
Scales haven't budged for 4 days, but dreaded monthlies showed up tonight so that explained the stall. Plus I am not exercising much. Also sleep a lot still, no energy. I lifted a box 2 nights ago and strained one of the incisions so very tender at moment.
Haven't needed my diabetes or arthritis medicine since surgery day. But a new problem (actually an old problem arisen) Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), had this during my pregnancies and when I get run down. I belief with me it's caused by lack of iron. I had stopped taking my iron tablets since my operation, so back on iron today. Doctor want's me to get bloods done next week, but week is so busy already so have to squeeze that in somewhere. She also told me I have to start retaking my Vitamin D at least till summer.
She has given me a lower dose script of the oxycontin (was sent home with these from hospital for pain) for the RLS as this helps, but wants me off them before my next visit in 6 weeks. So must remember to take my iron tablet daily (even though it's big and nasty to swallow).

Well I need to go and send my kids to bed, hopefully won't fall to behind on my blog again. But always get a bit vague after I have a general anesthetic (I mean like for a few weeks after). Have my boys straight for 3 weeks now. With all 5 kids booked into dentist, 2 have paediatric appointments,  2 have curriculum days off school and teacher strike happening this week. Plus the kitchen is getting inspected, dog groomer on Tuesday and I have a Centrelink appointment in that mix somewhere. It's welcome back to the real world for me.....