Had the worst nightmare last night, was skinny but had the worst saggy skin ever. My tummy hung down to my thighs and even my knees had all this baggy loose skin hanging off them. I once saw a photo of someone that had extreme weight lose and looked like a melted candle (Picture to left). I know why I had this dream, it was a comment my doctor made over a week ago that is still playing on my mind. We where talking about my weight loss so far, and I made a comment about at this rate I'll be looking hot in a bikini at Christmas (it was a joke). She got all serious and said no I will have to undergo skin removal for that. I know I will most likely have to have my stretched tummy skin removed (knew that after giving birth to the twins that I would never have a flat tummy again). But I have never thought about other skin around the body that's been stretched. I must stay positive and think how healthy I will be after my weight drops off. Loose skin is just going to have to be a forever punishment for letting myself get so ginormous.
Ok now I have shared my nightmare, thought I'd let you all know the scales have slowly started to move again. The stall lasted over a week and was frustrating since I'm a daily weigher. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself jumping on the scales every morning and evening. I finally got my monthlies (late but guessing the surgery threw out my bodies rhythm) and surprise surprise the scales started to budge again. So I will not be so shocked in a months time if I get another weeks stall.
I really need to get my diet sorted out, need to make an appointment with the dietician. I know I'm not getting as much protein in as I should and probably over eating a few bad things. Cruskits and cream cheese (low fat but still!!!!) are my biggest weakness. I should start a calories journal. I'm also discovering I am having moments when I'm hungry all the time. I'm trying to work out is this feeling just a bit of reflux or thirst. Another thing I need to wean myself off the oxycontin I was put on them for pain when I left the hospital, now I'm depending on them as I am suffering Restless Leg Syndrome really bad and the oxycontin are the only things that allow me to get to sleep. One friend said since I have given up food, soft drink, alcohol and smoking, that maybe my body was trying to swap addictions. I really don't know. All I know is the pain and arghhh how do you explain restless legs, like someone running feathers tickling under your skin. When someone tickles you so much it hurts...... I'm trying to increase my iron intake hoping it is just that causing the RLS.
Have this app on my phone that measures your pulse rate with your finger over the light. I hadn't used it in ages, I used to have a resting heart rate of averaging around 97. Today I used it and my heart rate is 76, back in a safe zone. Good to see another benefit of the weight loss, less stress on my heart.
I was running late for an appointment 2 days ago,and I actually got into a half jog, walk fast mode. 3 months ago I would be puffing just from slow walking. Little things like these moments make me feel like I am achieving something as I can't really see my body decreasing in size.
I keep thinking I'm over eating as I get hungry every few hours and have something to snack on. But I actually looked at what I consumed in one day and it is a fraction of what my old intake was.
Total so far for today, example:
Breakfast: Porridge sachet and 1/2 cup low fat milk
Snack: 125 Gram of no fat yoghurt
Lunch: 4 low fat cruskits with around 100 grams low fat cream cheese (eaten over half hour period)
Snack: Small Banana
Snack: 125 gram sorbet no fat
Dinner: Tablespoon of savoury Mince and 1/2 slice of bread (no crust)
I will probably have one more thing before bed, probably a protein shake as looking at that list I need more in the day. My water intake has been 750 mls, I know I need to increase this. Funny, really thought I'd been pigging out till I actually wrote it all down. I need to sit down and work out the calories. Also need to get the tape measure out and do my body measurements again. But before I do that, I need to put the kids to bed and finish washing uniforms and make school lunches, dishes to do in there somewhere too. Had a really lazy day of watching tv shows on my laptop so my Sunday of rest and relaxation must come to an end.