This stall is so frustrating. Like the scales are sticking it's tongue out at me every time singing 'neh neh' I go from 100.4 to 102 back and forward. Never reaching those double digits. Been sick all week, not eating much at all but nope, still not giving me that magical number. This stall is roughly on a month now. I know some people have longer stalls, but the frustration that the weight loss slowed down over the last few months and now just stopped. Plus I want too see those double digits soooooo baddddd.
Maybe I'm more sooky about it as I'm sick this week, considering how much mucus is being expelled from my body you would think....grrrr
I go on my cruise on my birthday. Fly up to Brisbane. One night in Brisbane then 7 nights on the Pacific Dawn P & O cruise. Up the coast of Queensland and back. Going with 5 friends. Was hoping to be lighter for it but since this stall has reared its ugliness not holding my breath. I'm curious to know if the air plane seatbelt will fit without an extension strap. It was one of my goals. We are flying with Tiger Airways and I have heard they have smaller seats. My dream was to get to 92kg by the cruise. But I cannot see 9 kg melting away in 21 days...sigh
Brought some material to make some sarongs. My body may have shrunk in size but when I strip off its all just hanging there. The worst will be to show of my thighs. All this loose skin. Makes me sick let alone anyone else that happens to glance at it. I hate it more than my stomach. People have stomachs, beer pots and loose skin from kids. But my thighs are hideous.
Been putting off buying bathers to see if I can get any more weight off. My old ones fit but a bit baggy. Might try to buy a new pair before I go but not much in the shops at the moment.
Well have my boys back this weekend and god forbid one of them knows where the kitchen sink is or the washing machine. So better get some mum duties done. Now selling Avon too, I let myself get roped into it. But been to crook to get around and give out books. Plan to drop some off this weekend.
Friday 30 August 2013
Thursday 22 August 2013
BAD HABITS
Well hello long lost blog. Long time no journal. I hit my one year mark since my sleeve just under 2 weeks ago. Total weight loss now stands at 76kg. I have lost my 'ultimate' goal weight. I say ultimate as I could never see myself ever being that weight. But as I get closer my dream is slowly turning into a reality.
I am only 3 kg off my original goal. To be the weight I got down too just before my wedding back in 1990. But I keep sabotaging myself with old bad habits and have currently been stuck at the weight I am for weeks now. In over a month I have only lost just under 2 kg. Bit of a change from the 1 to 1.5 kg falling off each week. Where am I going wrong! let me tell you.
Ok just today I had 10 squares of Chocolate, a chocolate milk, some dip, cheese, kabana and crackers, 2 small packs of twisties and a bowl of icecream with chocolate ice magic...... The only thing healthy I ate was a banana for breakfast. I have been trying to psychoanalysis my behaviour. Other than I have a really bad head cold and my kids are making me upset and sad I have no excuses.
The surgeon always said I would never be skinny though I have surpassed his original goal for me by 10kg. I forget this surgery is a tool and not the full answer. Ok fair enough I can't pig out like I used too. I mean before surgery the scoop of icecream would have been about 3 or 4 and half a bottle of the chocolate topping. The 10 squares of chocolate would have been the whole block and the 2 x 27 gram packets of twisties would have been a 150 gram bag. But all that sugar and useless calories :( Decided to just add up the calories for the day. 1,427. That's nearly 500 more than I should be consuming.
Haven't been doing any exercise either. Also been back to smoking nearly a packet a day. Ok I need a good reality check slap.
I am hoping that renewing this journal helps me become accountable. Even though I don't think anyone actually reads it that putting my thoughts and feelings, plus addressing my bad habits that I will wake up and renew where I am on this journey. I want to loose a minimum of 10 more kg by summer.
Anyway I am now looking into plastic surgery being so big for so long has taken a massive toll on my body to areas that should have never been allowed to stretch. I am now in a size 16 to 18. But have loose skin on my arms, thighs, neck, bum and overhang on my tummy. I am once again on the public waiting list for a tummy tuck. My appointment is in November. But that will only be my tummy. Been considering going over to Thailand to one of these plastic surgery holidays. Getting the works done.
Think I'm just a bit down as I'm sick at the moment and had a very roller coaster last few months.
Would you belief after loosing all this weight I actually sometimes feel fatter and hate my body more than I did than I was at my biggest. I have to look at my before and after photos I have created to put some prospective to it all.
I no longer have to shop in larger woman's
clothing sections or stores. My feet have shrunk to fit back into normal shoes. I can now buy nicer bra's and undies not granny stuff. I can walk around without huffing and puffing. Get up and dance with my friends. Wear heels again.
I really must keep reminding myself of where I have come from to I can refocus on where I am going.
Here are some progress photos. Just put them up for myself for that extra slap in the face.
Bottom photo was At my biggest in July 2012 and my 12 month sleeve anniversary photo shoot taken about 12th August 2013.
Oh found this draft for May, thought I'd just tag it on as not surehow to put in place with dates etc.
MAY 2013
Now for my weight lose, it's now starting to slow down quite a bit, I'm not sure if it's because of bad eating habits. Not over eating, but just the wrong things. Or if it's because I have started drinking a bit more. Or I did start exercising a fair bit so could have been building muscle. Or could just be a plateau that I have hit at 7 - 8 months.
Still 16kg off my original goal, but want to get lower than that now. want to try to get at least 10 more kilo's off when I hit my first goal
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