Saturday, 31 March 2012

Go Me

Go Me, Go Me, Go Me. Jumped on the scales for my 'official' weekly weigh in and down 5kg. I haven't been totally strict on the optifast plan, but have had little to no bread, biscuits, pasta or rice. So no extra fat spreads or creams etc that go onto these foods. No takeout except for my yummy healthy choice of Turkish dinner. Found myself about to eat left over kids food last night and realised what i was doing. I used to say, "no I'm not that big an eater", but when I truly sit down and think about that little snack here and that left over there, plus the laziness of getting takeout instead of cooking, I was a guts.

Was doing this silly 'Divine Fortune' discover your future in a magazine this morning and it said ask a question then choice a number. My question was will my weight loss journey be successful? The answer I got was "Feelings of power and confidence will see you reach a personal goal" Now I'm not one for mumbo jumbo, very skeptical on silly things like this. But it was random and I didn't get an answer like "a child makes me proud". But I did glance over the other 22 answers and only 4 would have answered my question. Randomness? statistics? luck? who knows, what I do know is that the saying "Feelings of power and confidence will see you reach a personal goal" is now being added to my personal motivational quotes.

Still a bit disappointed I still never stuck to my exercise goals just a bit more. The thing was getting out of the house, maybe I should just plan a few more home based exercises. Something I need to step up a gear. Anyway I need to bask in the glory of 5kg down, my own willpower. think a year ago I was drinking excessively, smoking a packet a day, chewed down nails, and no I didn't get this fat eating salad. Now, nice long nails, occasional drink or smoke when socialising, finally dropping some kilo's with the surgery getting closer to help me succeed. Also a can do attitude to top it off :)


Been reading Blogs on It's a wealth of information regarding pre and post surgery. Learning so much and so encouraged by peoples success stories. Which brings me to my next wonder of my universe.
The surgeon I first spoke to, the one who is actually now doing my surgery on the public list but I have forgotten his name (Oops I'm bad) Said something in my first sit down appointment with him, this is when you go public they have a 10 minute consult to decide if you will be banded, sleeved or bypassed. He stated that I should not get my hopes up and that I most likely will not ever get my weight back into the double digits (under 100kg/220lb). To me that's not a very optimistic view. I mean I would be happy at any thing in the low 100's at the moment as it is still a moment that is still so far away. But I have always been an active person when I have been lighter. I could easily walk 2km when I was in the 130kg range. I was playing sport 4 times a week when I was 120kg. I actually love exercise, just to do anything at the moment causes pain in so many places as I have let myself go to waste. Walking 500 metres the other night left me in pain for a day.

I suppose not all surgeons know what the end result may be, considering he only met me for 10 minutes. I never asked the other surgeon I was going to go privately with what he thought my expectations where. According to weight loss programs my weight for height should be between 61kg and 77kg. So does that mean I will always be 25kg overweight?

I know I did talk about excess skin to the last surgeon, he recommended I get private health insurance as by the time it kicks in I may want to book in to get the excess skin removed. As much as I want to belief my skin will just bounce back, I'm in my forties, and I have had 4 pregnancies and one of those pregnancies being twins, there is no way my stomach is going to "Bounce" back.
Anyway am I worrying about to much too soon, most likely.

Ok on a good note, but I should have been good and waited till later to do it as anything can happen in 14 hours. I jumped on the scales and they are 5kg down, yes I nearly fell off them. That much in one week... Keep this up and I could be 20kg down before surgery (if the surgery is at the end of the month) every kilo down is less risk for me going under the knife.

I know I told the booking clerk on the phone 11 days ago I will be good and wait for the hospital to ring me, but its now April (2 hours into April at the moment lol) So I thought if I haven't heard anything by Wednesday I 'might' try ringing one more time. I need a date, even if they push it to May at least I have a countdown. I'm just so in limbo.

Friday, 30 March 2012

Carbs v. Me

Been on the optifast Diet since Sunday. Ok truth be told not the strict loose it real fast. But replacing 2 meals and one snack. Had no diet cordial in the house till today, so full strength (sugar and all). Also had about half cup juice each day (about means a swig from the bottle lol).
Went out for dinner with friends on Wednesday, the girls actually let me choose the venue knowing soon I won't be able to eat out. But I still made a healthy choice out of the demons, Turkish. I had mixed meats and salad with some dip and bread. First Carb. mistake for the week. Lemon lime and bitters and water for the drinks, no alcohol and no coke drinks, yeah me. My second carb blow out was tonight. Had a piece of toast and dips (hangs head in shame).
Was planning on exercising every night and have only been for one 15 minute walk all week. Need to still measure my hallway (to walk up and down) it might be my only option specially nights I have the kids.
I know I shouldn't weigh daily, but I have lost 3kg already. Official weigh in is Sunday night, so being night time might read totally different. My goal for my first week was between 3 and 5kg.
Have an extra child for the first week of the school holidays, giving a friend a break and I thought one more with my tribe I won't even notice lol
Oh also another pat on the back, daughter wanted McDonalds after all morning at the doctors, I drove thru, ordered hers and for me..... NOTHING :)

Monday, 26 March 2012

Getting Closer

Well I still don't have an official date, just still being told April and that I probably will only get a weeks notice. That I will have to go down the week before to have my check up with the anesthetist and dietitian. Which seeing both of them will be fine as I have seen the dietitian for the diabetes and have slowly been making changes. Plus have quit smoking ages ago, only an occasional smoke here and there (About 2 to 5 a week), the only drama I will have with the anesthetist is the fact I haven't been using my sleep apnea machine.
Slowly been changing my diet. Been trying not to get takeout. Did get Macca's twice, but not going to dwell on the guilt, just push pass it. Been off the coke, diet coke drinks (had a can Saturday night, changed to lemon lime and bitters after that as didn't really need the caffeine). Was going to start on the optifast twice a day, but was hungry by noon, so had a slice of vegetable slice. Will need to be on the optifast 3 times a day before the operation, so tomorrow will try to go for 2 optifast meals and one normal healthy meal.
Want to start exercising but I ache so much I keep making up excuses. So next plan is to get off the couch. Was thinking of measuring the distance of the hallway. Do some exercise in the comfort of my own home. Have also ordered a step pedometer.
About to take my "Before Photo's" find an outfit that shows the curves and bumps and will use as my starting point.
So my op's in April that means worse case scenario (other than it being pushed into May) is my op is 34 days away. I'm challenging myself to loose 10kg before my op....

Tuesday, 13 March 2012


Really pisses me off when a size 10-12 person comments about your food choices. It's like hello, I know whats bad for me I didn't get this large from eating lettuce leaves every day.  Friend was over and I commented how I was starving as all I'd had today was a yogurt and a small packet of corn chips. This was due to the fact I hadn't got to the shops in days. Commented how I might order a healthyish  (less evil of the local pizza places) Crust pizza. then the lecture started about how I should be eating a healthy salad.  Instead of ordering in I should go get a salad. I felt myself nodding and saying yes, but my brain had an image of stuffing a healthy salad down her tiny throat till she choked.
Vent over.......

Sunday, 11 March 2012

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

This waiting is so frustrating. I have been checking the letterbox daily to see if there is any mail from the hospital, disappointing every time there is none. Finally on Wednesday I rang the hospital and spoke the the bookings office. The woman was rude and I clearly was a disturbance to her day (her still munching away during our phone conversation was a give away to this). I informed her of my story of how I was going to get it done privately but my doctor had seen my name come up on the public list for April and that I was getting worried as April was approaching and I had not heard from the hospital. She said that since the surgeon had seen my name on his list then clearly this information was correct (keep forgetting surgeons are gods) and that she would leave a note with the doctor requesting my date and I needed to ring back in a week to confirm my date.
So now Wednesday afternoon can not come quick enough. So my surgery could be anywhere from 48 days to 19 days. (That covers April) Any longer and I will be kicking myself for not proceeding down the private road.