Thursday, 22 August 2013
Well hello long lost blog. Long time no journal. I hit my one year mark since my sleeve just under 2 weeks ago. Total weight loss now stands at 76kg. I have lost my 'ultimate' goal weight. I say ultimate as I could never see myself ever being that weight. But as I get closer my dream is slowly turning into a reality.
I am only 3 kg off my original goal. To be the weight I got down too just before my wedding back in 1990. But I keep sabotaging myself with old bad habits and have currently been stuck at the weight I am for weeks now. In over a month I have only lost just under 2 kg. Bit of a change from the 1 to 1.5 kg falling off each week. Where am I going wrong! let me tell you.
Ok just today I had 10 squares of Chocolate, a chocolate milk, some dip, cheese, kabana and crackers, 2 small packs of twisties and a bowl of icecream with chocolate ice magic...... The only thing healthy I ate was a banana for breakfast. I have been trying to psychoanalysis my behaviour. Other than I have a really bad head cold and my kids are making me upset and sad I have no excuses.
The surgeon always said I would never be skinny though I have surpassed his original goal for me by 10kg. I forget this surgery is a tool and not the full answer. Ok fair enough I can't pig out like I used too. I mean before surgery the scoop of icecream would have been about 3 or 4 and half a bottle of the chocolate topping. The 10 squares of chocolate would have been the whole block and the 2 x 27 gram packets of twisties would have been a 150 gram bag. But all that sugar and useless calories :( Decided to just add up the calories for the day. 1,427. That's nearly 500 more than I should be consuming.
Haven't been doing any exercise either. Also been back to smoking nearly a packet a day. Ok I need a good reality check slap.
I am hoping that renewing this journal helps me become accountable. Even though I don't think anyone actually reads it that putting my thoughts and feelings, plus addressing my bad habits that I will wake up and renew where I am on this journey. I want to loose a minimum of 10 more kg by summer.
Anyway I am now looking into plastic surgery being so big for so long has taken a massive toll on my body to areas that should have never been allowed to stretch. I am now in a size 16 to 18. But have loose skin on my arms, thighs, neck, bum and overhang on my tummy. I am once again on the public waiting list for a tummy tuck. My appointment is in November. But that will only be my tummy. Been considering going over to Thailand to one of these plastic surgery holidays. Getting the works done.
Think I'm just a bit down as I'm sick at the moment and had a very roller coaster last few months.
Would you belief after loosing all this weight I actually sometimes feel fatter and hate my body more than I did than I was at my biggest. I have to look at my before and after photos I have created to put some prospective to it all.
I no longer have to shop in larger woman's
clothing sections or stores. My feet have shrunk to fit back into normal shoes. I can now buy nicer bra's and undies not granny stuff. I can walk around without huffing and puffing. Get up and dance with my friends. Wear heels again.
I really must keep reminding myself of where I have come from to I can refocus on where I am going.
Here are some progress photos. Just put them up for myself for that extra slap in the face.
Bottom photo was At my biggest in July 2012 and my 12 month sleeve anniversary photo shoot taken about 12th August 2013.
Oh found this draft for May, thought I'd just tag it on as not surehow to put in place with dates etc.
Now for my weight lose, it's now starting to slow down quite a bit, I'm not sure if it's because of bad eating habits. Not over eating, but just the wrong things. Or if it's because I have started drinking a bit more. Or I did start exercising a fair bit so could have been building muscle. Or could just be a plateau that I have hit at 7 - 8 months.
Still 16kg off my original goal, but want to get lower than that now. want to try to get at least 10 more kilo's off when I hit my first goal