OMG OMG OMG. It's funny been waiting since 2006 (longer than most as I had to put my name back on waiting list, as all the crap that was happening in my life at the time). after all that waiting, it just seems unreal that it's nearly here. The start of my forever journey. The kick up the arse I have been needing for so long. I know it will be not easy road, one of the hardest things will be not using food to deal with the shit in my life. One of the reasons I got to this size, so with my crutch gone, and my safety net shrinking (my fat is my safety net from the world) Will have a lot of ups and downs. Thank God (or whoever is watching over me) I have wonderful friends x
I weighed myself this morning, so far since my pre-admission weight, I have lost 7.5kg,(16.5 pounds) put on my jeans this morning and the thighs are baggy. My daughter who never notices anything actually commented while we where shopping today that she could tell. (Shame the weight loss hasn't come with added energy still needed to sit down a few times while shopping)
Then this afternoon was explaining to one of my boys how much I have lost and to show him I went and grabbed flour and cake mixes and milo tins till he had 7.5kg in his hands. You don't realise how much it is until you are actually holding it.
I have so much wind and my stomach is forever rumbling, not so much hunger rumble, but a protest of stomach acids as there is nothing for them to break down. Would fill up more if I was a big veggie eater. Realised most of my favourite vegetables where starchy ones :( Even brought some salad, as I enjoy salad, but it was just so bland with no cheese or meat or not having it with bread.
Oh how bad am I (not in a break the diet kinda way, but in a feral licking like a dog way) just made the kids tandoori chicken with rice and after I broke up the chicken licked my fingers like I would never eat again. Proud I didn't just grab a chunk and chuck it in my mouth. I am enjoy the aroma of it, got to taste the sauce, now my kids are enjoying gobbling it up lol.