Watching Extreme Makeover, and the guy is getting weighed in on a freight scale. Brought back memories of my last pregnancy where the hospital only had scales that went to 120kg and I had to go down to the basement to weigh on the freight scale, it was so demeaning and soul destroying. Think I was around the 140 plus kilogram mark I can't remember exactly.
Now the show is comparing food addiction to drug addicts. But it's true. As a super obese person, I can crave something to the point where I will have a total pig out, I once went through the McDonald drive thru and ordered a family meal, just for myself. Have only done it once but that disgust and self loathing I had in myself for days afterwards. Tonight my boys where eating corn chips while watching tv, before I realised it I had helped them consume the whole bowl, I don't think I even stopped for a breath. It was just a unconscious reaction. I used to think why should I deprive the kids the privilege of treats. I turned my privilege into an addiction. Would a drug addict sit there and say, hey kids you inject the heroin, but mummy can only watch!!! I need a healthy home for my kids and that will help me keep myself healthy. Treats need to be saved for birthdays, Christmas and movie nights. Not be available all the time. I usually make my kids lunches with a sandwich, piece of fruit, muesli bar and packet of chips. the chips need to go and be replaced with a second piece of fruit. Chocolate puddings need to be swapped with yogurts. Limit my lazy cooking days (frozen pies and frozen pizza type meals) with home made pizza's on pita, or savory mince on wholemeal toast. If there is no "fast food/snacks" in the house then I'm more likely to snack healthy myself without temptation in my face every time I walk in the pantry door or open the fridge door.
Another habit gone is once a fortnight I used to get smashed for the weekend. Could down 12 plus bourbon and cokes easy. Kid free weekend was drunk Jo weekend. But something happened is I started to get really sick after my binge. Later to discover "hello diabetes" So bye bye to my binge drinking. I now have an occasional drink but been middle of last year since my last binge. Giving away the alcohol also helped give away the smokes.
Giving away drinking also said goodbye to promiscuous behavior, not that I was a tart. But I was married at 21 so when I divorced in 2006 I kind of had a few norty liaisons. Not as bad as Sam on 'Sex in The City' but no Charlotte either. But being single over the last 6 years (I have had 2 serious relationships since my divorce) Alcohol gave me confidence my self esteem lacked.
So no smokes, booze or sex......OMG that is sad lol
Now to concur my bad sleep patterns and food addiction............
Oh didn't record my weekly weigh, 400 grams up. Considering my massive binge was expecting more. Well only had one norty corn chip moment so far, so fingers crossed back on track.